The baby boomer generation is responsible for some of the best music that ever blasted through a speaker. But let’s face it boys and girls, we also have to lay claim to some gawd-awful stinkers! We took a poll of boomer music experts…okay, you got us: it was really just our bohemianboomer staff…to identify the hit songs that had us running to turn off the transistor radio back in the day – and still cause us to cringe when we hear them now.
Here’s our nominees for Boomer Hit Songs We Don’t Ever Want to Hear Again:
1. Seasons in the Sun, Terry Jacks – This was a worldwide hit in 1974, but we hated this sappy tune immediately. Mostly because Jacks sings it in such a tortured, contorted voice that he sounds constipated. Every time it came on the radio, we screamed, “Somebody give this boy an enema!”
2. Midnight at the Oasis, Maria Muldaur – What was it about 1974? This song was a big hit that year as well, but who can actually listen to these lyrics without coughing up their lunch? “Let’s slip off to a sand dune, real soon” That’s a rhyme?!?! And how ’bout this titillating verse:
“But you won’t need no harem, honey…When I’m by your side…And you won’t need no camel, no no…When I take you for a ride”
Ugh! This song just made us want to stuff sand in our ears.
3. Hotel California, Eagles – Okay, this pick is gonna get us some hate mail, but we stand by our choice. The song topped the Billboard 100 for one week back in 1977…in our opinion that was one week too many. It’s monotonous, whiny and people put way too much importance on it’s pseudo-abstract/intellectual/socially relevant lyrics. We think Don Henley and Glenn Frey were just trying to channel Lewis Carroll when they wrote these lyrics; and frankly, we’d rather hear Jabberwocky set to music.
4. Me and You and a Dog Named Boo, Lobo – Me…You…and a dog named Boo – need we say more?
Just in case you can’t get enough of this torture, we found a video with the 1971 hit song’s lyrics subtitled in it:
5. Nights in White Satin, The Moody Blues – Another pick of ours that is gonna piss some people off. Sorry, but this song is pretentious, over-orchestrated, and the flute solo is just so uninspired (look at how excited Ray Thomas is in the video). Plus they played this epic song to death on FM radio in the 70s. Someone on YouTube commented that they don’t make music like this anymore, to which we say, “Thank God!”
6. Billy, Don’t Be a Hero, Paper Lace/Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods – We actually had to endure two bands recording this hit back in ’74 (and there’s that year again…’74 was just not a good year for music). What is it that makes us hate this song so much? Could it be the sing-song melody? The upbeat tempo in a song about someone marching off to their death? No, we really think it must be the insipid lyrics:
“Billy, don’t be a hero! Don’t be a fool with your life!…Billy, don’t be a hero! Come back and make me your wife!…And as Billy started to go, she said, “Billy, keep your head low!”
How could anyone sing that with a straight face? And how did we ever think guys in low-cut sequined jumpsuits were sexy?
There you have it – our list of Boomer hit songs that we never, ever want to hear again in this lifetime. Don’t agree with us? Or maybe you think we missed a song that obviously qualifies on any list of stinkers? Go ahead, show us the error of our ways by leaving your comment below.